Current mood:	amused
Current music:	"Blue Shadows On The Trail" - Roy Rogers and the Sons of the Pioneers

Adventures in Alcohol (Tangential Edition)
Yeah, I know, it's been a while. For the last several weeks I had a lot going on in my life and something had to give, so this blog was the unwitting victim. Besides, I figured everyone could do without my whining for a while; I decided I'd come back when I had a fun story to post. Well, I've finally got a fun story to post!

It's 3:00 this morning. I was all nestled all snug in my bed, while visions of sugarplums danced in my head...

Whoops, sorry - wrong story. Take two...

It's still 3:00 this morning. I was sleeping more-or-less-soundly (being Blondie-less will do that to me) when I hear a couple of people talking pretty loudly outside my bedroom window.
Since I'm on the second floor of my building, it's annoying, but whatever - I figure they'll go away eventually.

Next thing I know, I notice sounds coming from the front door. Pushing, turning of the doorknob, gentle tapping. My momma didn't raise many stupid children (only me), so I knew better than to open the door to whoever was trying to get in. Besides, I figured eventually they'd get the hint after a couple of minutes and go away.

I was right, they did go away - for about 5 minutes. Then it started all over again. Okay, I thought, it's probably not the smartest idea in the world, but maybe if I check the peephole and the person trying to get in doesn't look too menacing, I'll open the door and they'll realize they've got the wrong place and go away. The peephole shows a wobbly young blonde and nobody else. Here goes nothing...

I crack open the door and there's a young lady (early 20s, I'd say) in an impossibly short dress. She's pretty obviously drunk. She asks for a couple of guys I've never heard of, and I politely tell her she's got the wrong place. She demurely apologizes and walks down the stairs.

I close and walk away from the door, but I start thinking: A young, drunk, and scantily clad woman is walking around knocking on doors randomly at three in the morning - I'd better do something to help her or this probably isn't going to end well for her (best case scenario is she winds up in jail, worst case scenario is she gets raped or they find her in a ditch in a couple of days). I get my sweater and my keys and decide I'll just make sure she's OK, or at least make sure she walks into the right apartment and she'll be safe.

I walk a down to the other end of the building and our blonde is standing in front of the door of another apartment. The three residents of said apartment - all young men about her age - are either at the door or on the balcony trying their best to convince her she's in the wrong place. Another neighbor who's in uniform and on his way to the Navy base doesn't know who she is, either, so the four of us gentlemen informally decide we've got to do something to get this young lady home (or at least not let her drive off while she's this plastered).

The three roommates head off in one direction to find our woman's car, and I head off with her in the other direction. She walks about a block and realizes that she's gone too far and hasn't seen her car, so we walk back the way we came. When we get back to where we started, the roommates have found the woman's cell phone (which was lying on the sidewalk) and, remembering the names of the people she was looking for, calls someone to come get her.

We all find her car - which has the doors wide open and the passenger compartment light on. In the back seat of the car is her boyfriend, who's hunched over in the back seat, naked from the waist down, and throwing up into the seat. (What a surprise, he's drunk, too!) As she's twirling around while trying to talk on her cell phone, I notice she's not wearing underwear, either, and we've pretty much confirmed what these two were up to when I heard them at the beginning of this mess.

The roommates of the boyfriend show up, put a blanket over him, grab his pants (which are sitting on the sidewalk), and take him and the woman back to their apartment - which is in the building across the street from mine. The woman insists that she's not "dumb drunk", which I'd say is debatable. The three roommates and I say 'goodnight', and I go back to my apartment, laugh hysterically for about five minutes or so, and then try to go back to sleep. About a half-hour later, I hear a car start; I look outside and it's our damsel in distress' car, being expertly driven out of a tight parallel parking space and into the night. (If it was her, she must have some experience at drunk driving - I have a tough time parallel parking on that street when I'm sober!)

Th reactions of people to this incident have been decidedly mixed. One friend of mine commended me for caring what happened to the woman; two others - including Blondie - thought that what I did was nuts and that I should have just called the police. Your thoughts?